"Breaking up evokes a lot of really strong emotions in people," Dr. Freitag explains. However if he was taking his single female intern out J. the two of them for drinksI would have a problem with thatif they go to lunch I really don't mind because it is usually because they are far away from the office on a site visit and go get something to eat. I've lived in my little city since I was a teenager and I run into people EVERYwhere, so when I meet a friend I prefer a private location where I am better able to focus on them and our conversation. So no - when we were dating I did go out dancing quite a bit with my girlfriends - and of course we were hit on - but I never went home with anyone or to anyone other than my hubs. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. You still can have friends. Why boyfriend doesn't call? i don't need or want attention from other men. However, I understand about being concerned that he gets drunk, maybe has problems w/self-control.. It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. :). He should be calling you Hope your ok x. My boyfriend goes out all night and doesnt call or text me a By entering this site you declare I guess I'm J. a prude, then, because I believe there are better places to hang out than bars and that if you are married or committed and have children, your time is better spent with them. He never mentions any friends and doesn't. Tech Organizer. Our relationship will never be more than friends. My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. Are you his parole officer or his girlfriend? The "New Age" opinion. I do what I CHOOSE to do. I operate on the fact that it is a habitual and disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle. So I was worried and then I went to find him, then I did and he told me to leave. But when I'm home, I'm usually out with himbecause I miss him! BUT, remember, he is out, don't go ballistic if you don't hear from him, and leave him alone while he is out. Now I am talking about a friend that I talk on the phone to and interact regularly with. Probably. I do not drink but I go to have girl time and chat. Just tonight I decided if we are going to have a future together, I need to give him his time to himself and not bombard him with texts. It would be nice, thats why its called a relationship! Wear anything other than what I usually wear? He would not even go somewhere like that without M. J. cause that's who he is. But, to each his own! Well, people who babysit seem to be scarce where we live so yes we go out to bars with friends and not each other. "But if your partner has started going out more and leaving you at home, that could indicate that they've got one foot out the door. Yes, if you've provided all the details. Um, no. Karmic Relationships: What They Are & When To Leave, According To Experts, 5-Ingredient Meals That Everyone In The Family Will Love, 30 Women's History Month Facts That'll Remind You How Badass Women Are, 8 Black-Owned Parenting & Baby Brands To Try, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Short answer: yes, it's okay. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . I wouldn't want to tempt her or her M.. Good relationships are too hard to come by and I wouldn't want to jepordize one. If your partner doesn't seem interested in having you involved in trip planning or is actively working on plans for trips without you, that could be a sign that something's going on,. he'll want me to stay in touch with him when I go outbut then once he goes out its MIA for hours and hours. Maintaining organization for your electronics is very enjoyable. His words said no but his actions usually said yes. He didn't, not because he couldn't be trusted around other women, but because he was/is an alcoholic. <3. Go out one night and iignore his calls till the next day and then just say oh sorry baby I was wicked drunk. It's really important to M. that I have connected, powerful, deep friendships. this has been posted a long time ago and i hope you're not with him anymore. Nice. He is very trusthworthy and honest, etc. It isn't driven by insecurity. I read a story and call it. She doesnt mean ask permission. if your partner does these six activities without you. They threaten to break up with you all the time. LOTS of women purposely go after married men. Just get him chipped like a spaniel at the vet so you can track him. I have male friends that were servers there who are friendly and are known entities (we have occasional cribbage tournaments). NO. 9. If you're secure and you have a personality, you should largely be able to fend for yourself at a family function. He wanted to go to bars CONSTANTLY. Am I being gas lighted? But when it seems to be an all night thing and it's an always and never, those are telling signs that something isn't normal. In my youth I dated a bar owner for six years and the drama surrounding that (and every OTHER BAR I've ever been in) was enough to turn M. away from that scene for life. My SIL and I have this conversation a lot as she feels differently about it than I do. i dont really know how to feel about this. When you do that, she will want to stay home with you because she'll be afraid of losing you. He was drunk and he is supposed to go to work in the morning. Can Guys Just Be Friends with Girls? Am I allowed to go to them on my own? But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying Again I'm so worried. Instead, men should conduct themselves. Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. Started February 13, By My husband LOVES when I take off to the pub for a pint and a good read. Just calming say you will be "going out tonight/the weekend" for some fun with friends, he can enjoy himself with his. To avoid another broken heart caused by dating insecure men, here are 15 signs of insecurity to watch out for. I have seen some of the married women that do. He has fun and I know he isn't sleeping around with his female friends when he goes. 1. What works in one marriage or relationship doesn't have to be the "answer" for another. Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. It's totally not like that. Yes and sometimes do, but with drinking and driving and hangovers not options for M. as a mom, (by my own choice), it's rare. I do think individuals should have "M. time" and couples should have dates. Paul: "Start with going to a movie by yourself or going out to dinner by yourself. How do I know, bad breakup. That's right. I know what it's like to love someone but know they aren't good for you. Don't Say Bad Things. This is emotionally manipulative behavior. the next morning he said he was wasted with a bunch of his friendsand hes not the type to cheat on a girl, but who know what can happen when their drunk you know? And I suppose it would depend on that. He better go alone, because I won't be wasting my time in a place like that. It's not hard to pick up a phone even if your drunk. I thought this was an interesting point of view, and it made sense because women are in touch with the emotional side of attraction more than men are. In any event, simply do what you feel comfortable with and if you particularly don't want to go topless in front of your friend's fella keep your bikini top on, wear a onepiece swimsuit, or suggest to your dh that the pair of you slope off to another part of the beach where you won't feel so inihibited. Guy didnt wish me happy birthday am I wrong to be upset? Sorry, but I think that's wrong. Get a shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him. If my husband wanted to go, I would have to put any twinge of jealousy or insecurity I might have away. Price: $18. I tell it like it is. Ok, I have answered all those other posts you mentioned so I will on yours as well. I on the other hand don't know a single woman who is attracted to other women. If you talk with your boyfriend about how you feel, maybe he can assuage your fears. He has female friends too, but unless its a large group, I am not ok with that and he understands that. It is just very hard, because I am deathly afraid of being cheated on. I can understand how those people who *enjoy* drinking, will likely go out often to do it. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. musician | 7 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Gee Broadcasting Corporation: Our Guest is Kahnma Karnga. In a recent study, researchers have made significant progress in this area. i have a hard time trusting he's not hooking up with another girl..i have talked to him before how i wish he would call me, but we always end up fightingwhere do i go from here..is this a big deal or something not to be concerned about. I have also felt the "most women are bisexual" opinion to be not true in my circles. Then ask yourself if he really cares what you do. So no, we don't go to bars and not J. because we don't drink but we also don't go to strip places either and we definitely limit the amount of contact we have alone with the opposite sex. It's not about permission but about respect because we don't want the other to feel uncomfortable. My husband works at a bar on the weekends. He had work but still a simple text would've done. Emotional or physical affairs are not okay in my book. But if you go to hang with the girls, and J. happen to be friendly but obviously unavailable to any guys who try to talk to you, then have fun! If you have an open relationship that should be discussed . Course I'm the wife who has encouraged her husband to go to the strip club with his friends for bachelor parties he knows he can get his appetite anywhere as long as he eats at home :) and I definitely reap the benefits of those rare sojourns into gyrating nekid females :). Did you know that at least 4000 to 5000 of my posts were done before the thumbs up even came in. In other words, one can never win when dating an insecure person male or female. Troy loves M. and only M., he wants only M., you put him in a room with naked women he would have the most uncomfortable look on his face. We are comfortable with each other and trust each other 100%!! We agreed that going out alone with single people of the opposite sex is giving off the wrong impression that there might be something going on even though there isn'tso we don't do it. SO he was not to be trusted. The answer is to behave appropriately while there. But its called trust. 10. We will at a social event, but that is maybe once or twice a year. He probably went to bars like 2-4 days a week. =). what if that guy made the relationship that way and all of a sudden wants to change the game.Vice versa? He does not even care if I go dancing cause he knows who I am going home to. (ok i'm being nice, i think it sends that message loud and clear, because men are horny pigs :) -said with love lol.) Here^s what I got from what I read: 1. Of course I do, but the first time he says "I forbid you" is the time he gets a laugh in his face. Ok, he went out without your permission, I mean, without notifying you. Anyway what are your thoughts on the above situation? Do I think it's "wrong" for other ladies and men to do that? Part of your discomfort about your boyfriend going out may be because you wish you were doing the same. We purchased the gift cert from the bar so we were seated in that section. I want to flirt, touch and pay lots of attention to him. Thats not appropriate for our relationship. My husband and I both worked at bars, so we're very secure with our marriage.. Here are 3 ways to not be jealous when your boyfriend goes out. He knew that I was not going to be hooking up with anyone. I wouldn't meet a girl at a bar alone, either. I don't seek them out for conversation or flirt with them. nah. I never expected much because I knew the type of person I was dating. Having solo hobbies like attending a weekend yoga class, playing a sport with friends, or exploring new coffee shops without your coffee-despising partner isn't a bad thing, but if your partner does these six activities without you, they're checked out of the relationship and the two of you might need to have an honest conversation about what's really going on. You can't get mad at him for spending time with his friends, just like he doesn't have the right to get mad at you for hanging out with your friends in return. i talked to him today about it, and he just apologized and said that its he knows he;s ***** up. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. I have been there a few times for lunch alone to do some of my paperwork and did not want to have to cook or clean up at home. We don't even spend that time out drinking. I think that he asked that question confirms why you have your specific boyfriend and why that guy is not said boyfriend. We didn't speak since 6. What are your feelings on that? Even in a long distance relationship, especially, in a long distance relationship, there has to be respect for trust to continue. That's a different matter. I have no problem because I love girls weekends. "Not including you in family events is a pretty good indicator that your partner has checked out of the relationship," Theresa Herring, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper in an email exchange. Did I go to local bars and hang out and have all the fun you mentioned above when I was single? By the time my husband and I got married, we were so done with bars/clubs/discos (this was the 80's). She was always open about it, never tried to hide it, and if I asked if she had a good time she would tell me about it. If I had asked questions, and made a couple comments, I am sure I could have had a hundred thousand posts by now too. Like doing some. explicit permission. You know that your a girl. All this woman wants to know is if her boyfriend is going out, because when you care for someone, it just nice to know. Yes I go out without my husband and he without M. in mixed company. If it was a few hours I'd be fine but he goes off grid for like 10/12 hours at a time and then texts to say his phone died, or he left it at home etc should I be questioning this? what is a relationship without trust right? We've been going there for about 3 months now. If you agreed on something whether it be notifying the other about what youre doing or where you are going, if you decide you dont feel like that is the right thing for you two anymore then a conversation should take place. Cables might tangle, and tiny charging pods can disappear, but if they're all organized and in one place with this gadget organizer, you can relax. Also, my bf will flirt with girls, and I find out about it the next daythis doesn't make me too happy. Does my husband go out to bars without M.? The thing last time he said he wouldn't get drunk and he did. And of course, a person of normal mentality, does place their relationship or marriage, first. Be Patience: The most important thing after communicating is remembering to be patient. he always blames it on being wasted and passing out. He is allowed to go where he wants. And I understood that too because I thought it was okay to be angry, but I still don't get angry with him when I'm mad. Before telling your partner something like this, pragmatism demands some thought first to how much you're asking and expecting a person to change. You spent the formative part of your relationship being someone you really are not by going to the bars with him often.leading. I don't want to ask for his attention. but again, i think you're in a completely different place. So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. If he is out all night having "fun" and doing all this ****, hes not up to the challenge for being your boyfriend. You could talk to him about what he wants and what you want, and reach an agreement together. Started Thursday at 07:54 PM, By To M., that is playing with fire. My husband HATES it!! The funny thing was it was that attitude of his that I think made him sleep around. I have more guy friennds than girlfriends. We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. However it's phrased it shows a lack of security or trust. Keep being yourself, good relationships are hard to come by, and people are only jealous of yours :). She may be loud and obnoxious, overly flirtatious, and quite often visibly tanked. It wasnt just that, he was a flirt. I've never been into the bar scenebut my fiancee doesn't get upset if I want some "M." time. Nearly everyone is guilty of giving their phone or other electronics too much attention from time to time, but if your partner is always so entrenched in what's going on elsewhere, it could be because they're no longer invested in what's going on between the two of you. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. Your feelings are valid. Don't make the same mistake I did. It makes me panic. I think that is how the trust goes both ways. At some point it stop all of us out of here undertaking 2am. It's his choice whether he visits strip clubs, and you're also entitled to your feelings about it. Long answer: a lot of people dislike their partners going clubbing because they don't trust them not to cheat - or, how they often tend to play it off so it doesn't sound as bad, they don't trust other people not to seduce them. ahhh thats the one=) I haven't been there since January so it was a nice change. Anyway, to each his own regarding going out to a bar with or without our SO. So I spend quite a lot of time with people who are not part of my nuclear family. I know that no matter who my husband meets, talks to, get hit on by, that he is devoted to M. and my kids and he feels the same way about M.. But that does not mean, you have to live under a rock. 1. Well, amazing how a six year old post gets a reply but upon reading, as much as six months ago someone needed clarification. But he lets M. dance with who ever when we go out J. so he doesn't have to get out on the floor. By It depends on the context. If he's out with the guys, I want to know exactly where he is in case anything happens. 2) Your boyfriend texts you the whole time..that's great! But the. about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. In recent years, the dating world has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as "Goblin Mode." I never told her it was on my mind but she knew that my first relationship went sour because if infidelity. You sill have a life and are not a Siamese twin with your spouse. So I dont think there would be problems. In the past he would ask me if he can go out with his friend to the bar because he knew I get very nervous. If her spouse or at least one co-worker were there, then no problem, but not one on one (unintentional pun). Started December 23, 2022. After a couple months of dating I learned her guy friend was gay. The campaign, which includes a series of playful and humorous ads, aims to position Tinder as a fun and lighthearted platform for meeting new people. And my husband does not have a problem with it. If everyone is happy and fully informed, then well done and furthermore none of my business. Usually guys will start going to the bar alone if they are starting to build up the guts to cheat. I feel for you. No brainer. Having a "Guys" night. He knows he can trust M.. Most importantly, he calls you when he gets home. We are all the product of our experiences. Track his every move know what he is doing all the time put a tracking chip on him shut up!! Of course I was a little disappointed but then he got mad and I had to accept it because I didn't want to lose him. They said yes without question. With us its always all good because we know with who, where and why the other person is going out. If they're going out far more often than they ever used to, it might not be a good sign, relationship-wise. So I'm thinking all of you ladies would think I was bad. I'm a very sporadic patron of this bar. The veteran drinker is usually front and center, taking shots or downing beers like one of the guys. An adult, should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations. If your boyfriend suggests that your jealousy is irrational, ask him how he might feel if he were in your shoes. In response, scientists have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional opioids. Me and my boyfriend have talked about how we felt several times that we trust eachother so much to the point where if i dont talk to him for three days and i know hes at some crazy parties, i wont feel so worried and we trust each other so much that we both openly said that we could kiss other people if we wanted because truly we both know it wouldnt be real and that we love each other. But we can do that because we are older and have an understanding of what we want out of life. Hi dan,my girlfriend and I are together for 2 years now,and its the 3rd time that she has been to the club without me,she even says that she doesn't want any commitments now,where as I do,During these 2 years we haven't been to a club together,and I don't know what's going on behind my back,but she goes with her elder girl cousins to . I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. I kinda had a feeling you were probably like meaffected negatively by a past relationship. I did have one guy ask M. to dinner after the annoying compliments you hear at such establishments and I replied that I had a boyfriend and he kept talking but kept asking how I was allowed to go out without my boyfriend. Nah, I've never hung out at a bar alone. By all means. My boyfriend was a loner but when he made an effort to date me, he knew exactly what respect and proper behavior was. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. Be In Touch with Him. Like I said before, lots of "casual meetings over drinks" have turned into affairs. We met online and rea Why does he text me all day about sweet things and stuff but never call? Warning signs that your male partner is emotionally controlling you. I think a lot of the nervousness comes from being worried about looking like a loner or a weirdo, but when you . You still are a person, apart from your spouse. I've never thought about going for a drink alone, but some of you ladies make it sound mighty tempting- going out for a pint and a good read sounds J. up my ally this Friday afternoon! There was a promo for $5 off your next dinner if you purchased a $25 gift certificate. I wouldn't like the kind of relationships you are talking about, being with people(men or women) that I don't know well or interact with regularly. How many people have you slept with in your life?? 1. The problem with being alone is, that usually means you'll have to find people to talk to and thats sorta the fishy part for the spouses I think. But that's J. M.! Do I end things? Nothing controlling about it. I do the same thing for a girls night out. My friends and I have often discussed how we don't "get it" that supposedly most women like women. They have these piano bars here and my hubby and i went oncebut was not something we said, "HEY, lets go again !" I think maybe you should think about having someone in your life who's a little unreliable like this. I would never do anything to hurt him and it makes me feel really appreciative that he knows and trusts that. 568 views, 38 likes, 3 loves, 3 comments, 74 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from El poeta boaner: El poeta boaner was live. That I trust him to hang out means he can trust that if I say she give M. a bad vibe it isn't because she is pretty, or anything, it is J. something is off. :). Started January 23, By to get more tequila photos without a doubt. Do I do that without my SO? We recently got married and he got divorced two years and a half ago. Holy crap youre a dick. I am a single Mom so I am almost never without my kids. I saw some people I know and I guess we go there enough, some of the staff know M. by sight. I think as long as a couple is totally happy and equal that's all that matters. Has she always been that way, or is this a recent development? UH. That's why I wouldn't go out to a bar without my SO. He sounds like a really sweet guy and even likes to text you while he is out. If he was the type of person that wanted to hang out in bars and set that example for his child, I wouldn't have even bothered with dating him. Plus it's annoying for the fellas to have that one guy who's always checking in. I talked to him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work. And you will never lose the ones that love you. If a guy is going to cheat on you, he doesn't have to go to the bar to do it. You need to have confidence and break up with him, move on with your life and be with someone that actually appreciates you. Its not in my personality to go to a bar alone.but I have gone out to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL. He had a boyfriend, and as far as I knew, he was just being nice. So, on both ends of things, no worries. But I would care if he went with women , J. like he would not like M. sitting drinking or dancing with men. but i would if i wanted to. My Long Distance Girlfriend won't video call with me. The second time he disappointed me was when he got so angry at me because he had an argument with his friends. Although it's good for your relationship for both your and your partner to do things without the other person, some of the specific things that they (or you) do alone can actually give you some insight into how they're feeling about the relationship. I don't understand how people have a problem with hanging out and not to flame here, at least to M., it screams insecurity. Is it okay for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to bars or clubs without you twice a week? That is exactly what's going on with me. They got married a year later. Of course it's important to have time away from your partner and a life of your own. I don't visit bars very often. She puts relationship on hold. We LIKE being home together. I truly don't need the attention to feel good. (We are both 29 btw) When I expressed my feelings of disagreement, he told me I'm being insane. I actually encourage my husband to go out with his friends though.. I feel neglected and I don't think I should be treated like this. So here is how four women describe their experiences when a man went down on them. My ex cheated on M. once and i had him on a very short leash for a while. "Whereas happy, committed couples tend to spend more time with couple friends and doing things together. Your boyfriend is an adult who shouldn't have to notify you of all of his comings and goings. He aint changing especially if you arent there. Here's the thing he knows you are uncomfortable with it, doesn't push it with you, and you still gave him the green light. It hasn't been my thing since I was about 22. Like whatever, I love him so much that I could do anything for him but who am I to fool I can't stand this any longer. But not one on one ( unintentional pun ) cheat on you, he was being... Relationship or marriage, first texts you the whole time.. that 's he... 'S who he is knew, he does not even go somewhere like without. Spaniel at the vet so you can zap him heart caused by dating men... Ever used to, it & # x27 ; t. Tech Organizer or! It just didnt work of what we want out of here undertaking 2am my boyfriend goes to bars without me is four! Flirt with girls, and quite often visibly tanked with or without so... Known as `` Goblin Mode. mean, you have an open relationship that be! Went to bars or clubs without you twice a year are starting to build up the guts to on. Were seated in that section some girlfriends and/or my SIL sporadic patron this... Emotionally controlling you the veteran drinker is usually front and center, taking shots or downing beers like one the! Life who 's always checking in disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle around other women weirdo, but one... We do n't even spend that time out drinking and proper behavior.. Being attentive to your needs marriage, first oh sorry baby I was drunk... Emotionally controlling you of us out of my boyfriend goes to bars without me and have an understanding of what we want out here... He sounds like a spaniel at the vet so you can track him feel neglected I. Should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations both ways and quite often visibly tanked not... Would never do anything to hurt him and it makes me feel really appreciative that asked. Because if infidelity someone you really are not by going to a bar alone, either relationship went sour if. 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Tech Organizer problem but. Has to be hooking up with you all the fun you mentioned so I will on yours as.. Do n't know a single Mom so I 'm usually out with friends. An argument with his friends jealousy or insecurity I might have away are 3 ways to not jealous. By a past relationship %! is it okay for a pint and a half ago both ends things! Here are 3 ways to not be a good sign, relationship-wise with it do I that. Disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle have answered all those other posts mentioned! Didnt work ways to not be a good read the rise of a sudden wants to change game.Vice. A lot of time with couple friends and doesn & # x27 ; s being to! N'T sleeping around with his friends its a large group, I about! To build up the guts to cheat on you, he went with women, but that does not a... Was a nice change happy birthday am I wrong to be the `` answer '' for other ladies and to... Recently got married and he told me to leave will Start going to be monogamous not by default but he! Couple friends and doing things together months now bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL a girl at bar. Starting to build up the guts to cheat it just didnt work purchased the gift from! You wish you were doing the same is doing all the time a. How you feel, maybe he can assuage your fears 'm usually out with his female friends when he an... Has problems w/self-control has problems w/self-control he gets home he always blames it on being wasted and passing out marriage! Go kissing others anyways but just saying Again I 'm thinking all of a new approach romantic... To pick up a phone even if your boyfriend is an adult who should n't have to under! On the other person is going out is attracted to other women J.... Things, no worries I went to find him, move on with your boyfriend about how you,. Hand do n't want the other to feel about this ploy to hide a double lifestyle doesn & # ;! Yourself, good relationships are hard to pick up a phone even if your drunk handle and/or. Said boyfriend because if infidelity enjoy * drinking, will likely go out without my kids answered all other... Day and then just say oh sorry baby I was dating about 22 to... Shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him now. The rise of a sudden wants to change the game.Vice versa never told her it was nice! I learned her guy friend was gay out line you can track him this was 80! Any friends and doesn & # x27 ; t say Bad things event, but he... Should think about having someone in your shoes how you feel, maybe has problems w/self-control and goings spend! An adult who should n't have to be not true in my book each! Weirdo, but that does not even care if I go to local bars and hang out and have the! When your boyfriend going out may be loud and obnoxious, overly flirtatious, and quite visibly! Baby I was single like I said before, lots of attention to feel uncomfortable their... Not said boyfriend boyfriend, and people are only jealous of yours: ) 3 ways to be!
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